This is a story about one of those God moments that completely and totally changes one’s perspective.  And boy did I need it.

It was November 5, 2010.  We had started the adoption process for Sally in the fall of 2009.  Almost a year had gone by.  We were in the waiting stage. And I was to turn 50 in 1 month.

I was simply in one of those modes of doubt and the main reason was that I was about to turn 50.  I’d been thinking on and off about it all year.  Good grief.  I’d already started having children later than most (37) and here I am about to bring a one-year-old into our home again.  Do I have the energy for this?  Am I just completely nuts?

I said that, but in the next breath thought – No…. well….. maybe I am, but that is actually irrelevant.  The point is, it seems we are just being led down this path of children from far away places.  We pray, we ask for direction, we say we just want to be obedient Lord.  Is it hard work?  Yes, it is.  But, as tired as I can be at the end of the day, it’s all seems to be ok when my head hits the pillow.  When all is quiet.  And when I rise the next morning.  A new day.

I don’t want to sit around on my deriere and do nothing with this gift of life.  What more important thing could there be?  For me? At this stage?  I can’t think of anything.

Anyway, I was having a very down day, wondering if I’m really doing the right thing.  I sat down with my bible that morning and I just fervently prayed “God, help me please.  Show me, somehow, if this is what we should be doing.  It seems so….so…..out of the ordinary.  Not normal.  (Have I ever done the normal thing??)  After I prayed I decided to open my bible to a random place and that, maybe, there would be a message on one of the 2 pages I’d open to.  I’d done this before and it had worked.

I opened to page 894-5.  Starting at John 8:53.  Amazingly, to me, at verse 57 it says “You are not yet 50 years old.”  What???

It didn’t really matter what the context was.  I can’t believe it says this here!  To me, it was as if God was saying “Hey my dear.  You are not yet 50 years old.  You have many more years of life and many more tasks I have in store for you.  50 is not a big deal.  So let’s move on to more important things.”  Ok God.  I will embrace that.  So then I read on.

On the opposite page at John 10:14-16, it says this:  ”I am the good shepherd;  I know my sheep and my sheep know me– just as the Father knows me and I know the Father and I lay down my life for the sheep.  I have other sheep that are not of this sheep pen.  I must bring them also.  They too will listen to my voice, and there shall be one flock and one shepherd.”

Well!  That sounded, to me, like I have more babies out there and I have got to bring them to my sheep pen.  They are my children and I am their mother….or sheep herder :)

And here we are in May 2012.  I’m 51 1/2.  We have our dossier in to Ethiopia again for a precious little boy.  Out of the ordinary?  Yes.  Honestly, I guess I kind of like being that way though.

God is in every moment.  In every detail.  It will pass us by if we don’t stop and pay attention.  I want to remember to see the small signs, the coincidences, the beauty and the order of it all.

Thank you Lord for speaking to me and giving me ears to hear You.  Let Your will be done.

Love,

Your Daughter.

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You might like one of these posts too.

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• Ethiopia Adoption – Pt 10 – Back to Africa!
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Flummoxing. 6 weeks after coming home with Sally. Selamawit. She is precious, happy and a good eater. The sleeping has me off kilter though. Yes, it is a gap year. A new baby born or adopted, a major move. It’s a gap year. My friends and I have clearly decided it takes a full year. Not 3 months. Not 6 months. But a full year to find that “new normal” and get back in a stride. But oh how difficult this gap year can be.

I am supposed to relax. To just focus on getting our new little girl acclimated and adjusted to a new life. No. That’s not right. There is every other element of life that must carry on too. I am thankful that its summer and I’m not worrying much about any sort of school. A little here and there on my mind. Emma has to learn some latin words to prepare for her new class this fall. Meg needs to learn her times tables. The boys. Just read. Heavy sigh.

So the sleeping. I am falling asleep about 12:30-1am. And waking up between 8-9am. With a little dark brown baby beside me. And that is pure joy. But then the day moves on. Matt has been up and working since 5 or 6 am. He has taken the big 4 kids on a walk/run in the neighborhood. Thank you Lord they are getting exercise.

By the time Sally and I are downstairs, much of the day has happened it seems. By the time I have a cup of tea, take my supplements and eat a bowl of cereal it is after 10am. Now what? Well, we could swim. We do have a pool and it is summer. Ok, get your bathing suits on. The next day. Now what? Uhh. I have a ton of stuff on my desk I must get to. Phone calls. Appointments. The bills. You guys just play the Wii. Or watch TV. Ugh. Nooooo. I want to throw the TVs out. They are satanic. A few good things. But the bad outweighs the good.

But for now. Watch tv. Guilt tries to climb up on my back. Brush it off. Pray. God please fill in these gaps that I cannot.

And then….and then…what about God? Oh my gosh. What about God? What about the time I NEED to spend with Him every morning? What about the time I need to talk about him EVERY DAY with my children? Where is it God? Help me find it please! Force me to do nothing else but that Father!!!

Every day I think – what should I do? How should I get back on track with this? And then the dailyness of the day ensues. People are hungry. People need clean clothes to wear. What are we going to eat for dinner tonight? Much less how are we helping these little people develop character, learn and know their Maker.

A shift, Oh Lord. A drive with the man you gave me. Escape for the moment from this Truman Show. A new visual. A change. A drive home. A speech from my in-house encourager. It’s time. Time to get back on track dear one. Oh no. Really? But my relief is late at night. When no one is awake. I can read in the dark and try to find my way.

Order. Praying for something simple now. 6am. That’s all.

I’m up. All is quiet. I read Your Word. 45 minutes of straight You Lord. So sublime. So powerful. Finding order in my days Lord. The quest now. And again.

YOU ordered the universe. Order is a part of You. If I order my days correctly with You at the very beginning – then I’m thinking you will help the rest fall into place. Yes. A simple concept. A basic spiritual law of the Universe.

Order in space. Order in snowflakes. Order in the law of sow and reap.

Chaos is the antithesis. Chaos is devilish. Chaos evokes evil. Anger. Murder and death. Anger toward my children because I haven’t gotten up early to be with You first. I haven’t ordered my day and a simple spiritual law has been defied. Ignored.

All the way to chaos in governments. Anger, pride, ego. That lead to war and death because, dear Lord, they have not sought you first. I pray for this country Lord – that at our next national elections – You/we would put into office men and women that understand how to order their days. To seek you first each day. To know that world order will not be accomplished without You at the helm. Amen in your Son’s name.

Thank you Lord for these days.

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Update:   I wrote this about 20 months ago, but just couldn’t publish it until we got a lot closer to fruition.  We are very close now.  So here is the beginning of this new story about the new life of a little girl.

August 25, 2009

My husband and I just made a very major decision.

The 4th Child

Three days from now will be the 2 year anniversary of adopting our 4th child, Luke.  He just turned 3 years old.  It has been an incredibly wonderful experience.  Any challenging parts have mostly been that of adding a 4th child to the mix, which as my friend with 8 says, “is the magic child.”  It is that 4th one that forces you, without any second thoughts, to completely simplify your life or die!  Just kidding.  But sometimes it feels that way.  It is all about function over form.  Luke is also an extremely energetic little soul.  And a boy.  Need I say more :)

Well, he is messy, but those eyes just got to me, so I had to put this photo in!  He is 4 here.

Adopt Again?

After about a year of having Luke, we started wondering if we should adopt any more children.  I have noticed it is usually after having a new baby in the house for about a year that a mama and a daddy start thinking,

“Maybe another one would be ok.  Maybe, just maybe, we could do it.”

Before that time, we are all thinking

“No way.  This is the last child for sure!”

This is probably just God’s way of having us focus completely and totally on that child’s first year with nursing, holding, sleepless nights, etc.

A Curve Ball

Anyway, after that first year of having Luke, we started talking about adoption.  I even wrote prayers down about it, but some unexpected financial things happened and this last year of our life became all about changing the way we handle money.  Becoming good stewards of those resources instead of being characterized by a consumer mentality.

We have got to get out of the rut of ‘work hard, buy stuff, and don’t really do what God intended for you to do.’

“God, get us out of this rat race, please!”

We have worked hard at this.  We have gone to all cash.  No credit cards and rarely a debit card.  Analyzing exactly where money get’s spent.  We have grown in this area and we are on the same page.  It really started with that Dave Ramsey class. (Here is a post on that.) It has been a year of perseverence, ($1 shampoo and toothpaste from Dollar Tree is a small example) but there is no doubt, the rest of our life will be different.

Tithe

A little aside:  When we started tithing 10% of our gross income to God’s kingdom back in about ’01, we saw a dramatic change in the money flow i.e. the blessings.  We learned that God said to tithe and our obedience in that area (among many areas) will bring serious blessings. It is true.

Ethiopia

So on August 4th 2009, an adoption social worker from a nearby town came to our house to conduct an interview with us for our 2 year post-placement report to Russia for Luke.   She works with families doing international adoption from many countries.  After the main discussion about Luke, neither Matt nor I could keep ourselves from asking about Ethiopia and how that process worked.  After she left, we were both fairly consumed with thinking about it.

Five days later

we went down to Matt’s office to have our weekly business meeting.   We dealt with a lot of issues and then Matt brought up the adoption.  What are we going to do?  Do we do it or not?  All of a sudden it was present in both our minds.  And it was obvious, both of us wanted to do it.

I am going to be 49

in a few months and many countries have a cut off age of 49-50 to adopt young children under 4.  We probably ought to make a decision about this, don’tcha think?  (Ok, lift your jaw off the floor – yes, 49 and still wanting more babies. Who woulda thought?  But as Matt says “We are in the kid business. Might as well add one more!)

Anyway, after discussing several other issues, we decided to take a walk around our downtown square which was 2 blocks away.  It was about 7 at night, still daylight savings time, with a nice breeze.

Paying for an international adoption happens in several stages over the course of the entire operation which can be 12-24 months.

There are several fees due in the beginning. We didn’t have the money right then, but thought maybe there was some coming in soon that could be dedicated to that.

So, now it’s up to God

We prayed as we walked around the square.

I know God wants those babies extracted from their current situation and brought into a loving family. He tells us to take care of the orphans and the widows. If all of that is true, then I gotta believe that that money we want to dedicate to this WILL come in.

After we made our decision we sent out a tithe check.  I wrote in the memo “seed for adoption.”  As we sat there we realized if God returned that seed with a harvest 10 times the seed (which is what it says in the bible; even 100 times) that would be more than enough for the adoption. We write those tithe checks before we write any other check for any other bill every month. Otherwise, they might never get written.

The Money Starts Moving

So, last Friday (about 2 weeks later) my sister had a baby.  Yay!  More babies!  I drove the 1 1/2 hour drive to see her and ended up staying in a hotel with my mama and other sister for two nights.  What fun.  And what a good husband.  “Sure honey.  Do what you need to do.  I will take care of the children.  We’ll have fun.”  Awesome.

Well that first night I was there, my husband sent me a text at 10:30pm that said:

Matt:  Marly, Zo, Chuck, kids dancing and $ came in for the baby.

Allison:  Wahoo!  Can we start adoption process?  Who is Marley?

Matt:  Bob and yes.

God Speaks

The next morning I woke up and, as is my usual routine, still lying in bed, I got my iPhone off it’s charger and pressed the “Verse of the Day”  app.  I have had that app on my phone for at least 1 1/2 years and each day it gives a new verse.  In all that time, it has not repeated a verse.  Here is the verse that popped up:

For this child I prayed; and the Lord hath given me my petition which I asked of Him.” -1Samue1:27

Wow!  Amazing!  That is just like God.  We believe, and then when the blessings come, they come in a big way!

I  looked back at that verse 20 times

that day, in amazement that He would speak to me so incredibly clearly, and was sad to see it go away at midnight that night.

But onward now.  There is work to be done.

We just sent in our application to the agency, America World Adoption (awaa.org) with our application fee.  They will approve us into their program in about a week and then we will start gathering all the elements for our dossier, beginning with the homestudy.  Once the dossier is in, we wait.  And pray.

God Bless You and All The Orphans In The World

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Stress.  Why are we stressed?

I don’t like it and I don’t want it.

There.

I have had so many women, homeschooling and not, talk about this subject over the years, that I am compelled to discuss it in a little more depth.

We are all attempting to do something (raise a family) that has become more difficult (than it was 200 years ago) because of our indoctrination into the modern culture.  We have many more things pulling on us today, taking our attention away from the child or the home or the husband.  No big surprise there.

It Creeps Up

Aside from major life stresses such as change of work, a move, a death, a divorce – the biggies; we’ve got to remember that the “seemingly” smaller stresses can affect us in profound ways too.  In fact, maybe more so, because they can insidiously creep up on us completely unnoticed.

Why Are We Stressed?

Three biggies come to my mind:

#1 – We are attending to details that maintain our convenience-oriented lifestyles i.e. having to fix any number of modern devices – dishwasher, car, bike, lamp switch, fan, faucet……

When we buy something now, one of my first thoughts is  ”does this item have the potential to break and then require fixing and will it be worth that hassle?”

#2 – We endure the rat race to “get the stuff” we think we have to have (nice house, nice cars, nice furniture, nice clothes, nice measuring cups, nice underwear, etc……….)  OR  we endure it to get out of debt from “getting the stuff.”

I love the line “We spend the first half of our life accumulating things and the last half of our life getting rid of them.”

#3 – Or we are being tempted by the myriad of activities AWAY from the home because we want to make sure little Johnny has an opportunity to try everything so we can see what he is good at…… even though he is only 6.  Ugh.  I’m worn out.

I Want To Talk About #3

We think “I want to be a good parent.”  We think “I don’t want my children to miss out on any opportunities.  I want to expose them to many areas so we can see where their talents lie.”

Whoa.  Hold On.  This is the beginning of the problem.

Society is doing another number on us here, Ladies.

And here it is:

If we don’t get our child involved in lots of outside activities

(or even just a few,) we will

MISS

what they were put on earth to do.

This is a lie.

Little thoughts and messages like these are dropped into our minds (from what WE allow in, through our eyes and our ears) and WE decide whether or not they will take root.  Can we push them away?  Or do they stay and build into something bigger?

Our Homes Become Chaotic

These ideas begin to create chaos in our lives, so that we have disharmony in our home, so that we REALLY don’t have time for the important things.  In fact, we don’t even really know what the important things are anymore, because we have been so brainwashed into thinking it’s whatever the news, the celebrities or the stores say is hip, cool and a must-have or a must-do.

And we don’t notice it until it has gotten a stronghold in our homes.  And marriages are falling apart.  And children are depressed, or on ADHD drugs,  or looking for love in all the wrong places.

Here is the spiritual basis of this issue

The devil (evil) wants to destroy the family because the family is the foundation of society.  And if he can destroy us there, he can take over the world.  The only way we can change that is to resist the temptations he puts out there. Resist what the culture tries to talk us in to.  Pray.  Ask God to convict us about how we are to proceed.  Keep our families together.  I mean daily.  If we are running all over the place, when do we have time to sow the seeds of wisdom, right-living, character and work-ethic into our children. It has to be done every day, day after day, continuously.  Don’t count on anyone else doing it.  They won’t and they aren’t meant to.

So What Do We Do As A Family

Slow down.  Cook together.  Eat together.  Read to each other.  Play music together.  Do plays.  Make movies.  Teach character and morality,  how to get along with each other, or how to be a wife or a husband.  Yes, teach them these things when they are 7 years old.  How to respect each other’s position in the family.  How to appreciate each other’s gifts.  Things like that.  Here is the nugget:

You Child’s Gift WILL Shine

But this will require patience on your part.  And I know.  You are listening to a mom who put her first child in Suzuki violin lessons, kindermusik and gymnastics class 4 MONTHS BEFORE SHE TURNED 2 YEARS OLD and all at the same time!  That’s an older mama for you.  Thinking “I waited this long, I’m going to do everything perfect.”  Yikes.  Can we please redefine “perfect?”

Let Me Give You A Good Illustration

My oldest is only 13 now, so I don’t really have a fully grown adult to prove my point. This is just my very serious hunch after seeing it work in many other families.  But let me tell you about someone who does have the fruit of this kind of plan. My best friend and I went to a retreat for mom’s last year.  It was put on by Above Rubies.  Maybe you have heard of them.  (You can go to aboverubies.org and sign up for their free newsletter.  Every time mine arrives in the mail, I pour over it from front to back.)

Anyway, Nancy Campbell (the keynote speaker at these retreats,) the mother of 6 productive members of society and grandmother of many, told a story of how they moved to Nashville, TN when their daughters were in their late teens or early 20′s.  Literally on a street corner during some kind of music festival someone was passing around a guitar as different people would play and sing something.

Their Turn

When the guitar reached the two daughters, they played and sang a duet.  Well, somebody heard them and said you have to meet so-and-so.  They end up in the office of a hi-powered music agent.  He says, ok play the song.  They do.  He says, Hold on.  He goes to get his boss.  Ok, play the song again.  They do.  Then they invite them to sing at the Grand Ole Opry and sign a record deal.  The funny part was, the girls said “Oh I don’t know if we can be at the Grand Ole Opry that night.  We’ll have to ask our Dad.”

But Here Was The Kicker

Those girls never had one music lesson.  Not one voice lesson.  No piano.   No guitar.  That gift was in those girls and it was going to come out come hell or high water. Now they have a number of CD’s available (that I highly recommend).  I have heard them live at these retreats and I’m here to tell you, they have serious talent.

It’s Time To Say NO

So, I’m not telling you to take your children out of the activities you have them involved in.  But I am saying, whether you are homeschooling or not, if you feel stressed out i.e. not enough time as a family; not enough relaxed dinners every week together at the table; not enough energy to mentally and emotionally be available for your husband and your children;

It is time to say NO to a few things.

Take stock.

What is really, really important?

Warning!

PLEASE don’t think these are reasons to have less children.  Children are the ultimate blessing.  I’ve said it before.  If we work hard, we will turn out the most delightful people we will ever want to be around.  It’s the “stuff” that has to go by the wayside.  And that “stuff” includes the “running around.”   Are you missing more than a couple of dinners per week together with your family all sitting down, facing each other, relaxing, communicating?  That connection time daily is crucial.  And it is so easy to let it go by the way-side.  Not making a decision on how our days are going to be ordered will allow the chaos and ultimately the disintegration of the family to ensue.

Here It Is In A Nutshell

God gave your child gifts.  He gave them a purpose in the world.  Those gifts will make themselves known regardless of how many T-ball games you go to or don’t go to.  So, this is my final word:

DO LESS!

Don’t be hard on yourselves.  One step at a time.

Breathe through your mouth.

What do you think of this?  Am I way off base?  Do you have great ideas to inspire us?  Let me know!

God Bless You and Your Families!

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Hi guys,

Just wanted to quickly show you something I have been doing with my Bible lately.  I really do like reading these verses from the actually Book versus from my iPhone or a piece of paper, though those will certainly do in a pinch.  I got this from my good friend Jen.  Thanks sis!

This is my Bible that has 4 versions in it.  I like this because I can quickly see how the original King James said it, how the Amplified says it with more descriptive words and how the NIV (the first version I ever had and  still my favorite) says it.  The 4th version is the NASB.

I got these purple rectangular shaped post-it notes with the sticky stuff on the far right (short side) of the post-it note, and marked each healing verse from the 40 verses I talked about in this post A Miraculous Story of Healing.

There are more healing verses, but I’m starting with these.  Next I will continue with other favorite, helpful verses in different colors to differentiate from the specific “healing” verses.

I wrote on the post-it note the purpose of that verse (which you will find for the 40 Healing verses in my other post referenced above)

and then highlight the verse.

I truly believe these Words that God has given us are the key to our health and joy in life.  I’d sure hate to stand up there and have him say “I gave you everything you needed.  Why didn’t you use it?”

God Bless You and take time for these things.  I say that to myself as much as to anyone else.

Love,

Allison

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A few days ago, I was standing outside in the driveway.  It was a very pretty day.  The beginning of spring.  I was just looking around at the sky and the trees and as I stood there I had this sort of strange thought or vision.   I’m not sure what it was, but it felt like….like a glimpse into heaven.  It sort of seemed that time had just stopped for a moment.

I saw myself in heaven, after I had lived a long life, looking back down over my life and the chance I was given “at life.” And I was asking myself the question “Why was I such a chicken?”  ”Why didn’t I just say and do exactly what I had worked so many years to think and believe, and not worry if this person or that person MIGHT be offended.  I had my chance.  My chance of 100 years, more or less, to really make a difference in the world.  And I succumbed to the thorn in my side that others provided.  To the opinions others had of who I was, how I lived my life, the choices I made, the words I chose to use and the tone I might have had.

And evil, that force that does not want me to bring light or help or an idea to the souls of this earth that crave it, was satisfied.  Evil thought he had done a good job.  Those thoughts that he’d planted into the heads of the people who came upon my path and got me off the course God had set for me, had done their job nicely.  Thank you very much.  Not to mention the thoughts evil had dropped into my own mind and I had allowed to take hold.

And so…….I was distracted by the earthly.  By the dailyness of silly, unimportant minutia.   Words and actions of others that weren’t part of God’s plan for me.  Better said:  I allowed myself to be distracted by the things of this world.  I allowed a diversion from my course, my destiny, my adventure, my purpose, the reason God sent me here with these particular gifts and abilities.  I allowed evil to penetrate my world, when all along, at any moment, I had always had the power to send it away.  To correct my course.  To steer straight again.  Just like Dorothy could have gone home at any time with the whisper of a few words.  Jesus.

Whooooossshhhhh!  Back down to earth.

The wonderful thing about getting older is we start to care less and less about what other’s think of us.  Haven’t you spoken to amazing older men or women (the kind you want to be like) that were set in their ways and beliefs and didn’t give a whit about what anyone thought?

And just when I was looking for something good about aging as I saw another wrinkle in the mirror the other day, God provided me with this little experience.

You are, indeed, an awesome God.

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Every day it seems like, more and more, I become my parents.  Isn’t it funny how that happens?  Sometimes it can be disturbing.  But…sometimes…I really love it.  This is one of those times.

Growing up… oh I’d say I can remember this from about the age of 10 or 12 and until he died 4 years ago… my father would exhort in some form or another “This is God’s country!” or “Oklahoma is God’s country!” or “When you movin’ back to God’s country?”

As a child, I didn’t think much about those comments,

but as I approached 17, 18 and up through the decade of my 20′s, I would roll my eyes, either overtly or in my mind, and think “You have got to be kidding!”  This is one of the dullest, ugliest places I have ever seen.  I mean, how about the Rocky Mountains

Piney Lake in Vail, CO

or the Pacific Ocean

Matt with Henry on his back 6 years ago on the Oregon coast

or even a desert or a canyon or SOMETHING for crying out loud.”  I vividly remember thinking when I was a senior in high school “I’m getting out of this place and I’m never coming back.”  Oh my, that statement makes me shudder.

Well.  As you can see.  My plan did not work out.  And, by the way, I learned a long time ago.  Never say “Never.”

My husband and I met and moved back here in 1995

By that time I was in my mid-thirties and had been living in Los Angeles for 8 years.  Prior to that, I lived in San Antonio, TX  for 8 years.  Four years of University and four years in the work force.  So after 16 years in 2 big cities and through a series of interesting events (I need to tell you that story later) we decided to start our life together in Enid, America Oklahoma.  The town we both had grown up in.  Matt would be moving back here from working at the Department of Energy in Washington DC.

I couldn’t believe it.  But here I was.

Moving back to the place I said I would never return to.   But I knew…..we both knew, it was the right thing to do.  Somehow, it was a God-thing.

For the first 5 years we lived here, I was in culture shock

I missed the restaurants, the grocery stores, the geography and the excitement.  Los Angeles was alive and this place felt, well, dead to put it bluntly.  But, at the same time, I was sick of the big city and how EVERYTHING you did was a hassle.  It was a hassle to get gas in your car.  It was a hassle to go to the grocery store.  There was always traffic, and back then people didn’t have cell phones to while away the time of a commute.

Fast Forward to living in Enid

I remember one day Matthew and I were driving out in the Oklahoma countryside and he said “Look at those hills.  They are really beautiful.”  Say what?  What hills?  There isn’t a hill around here as far as the eye can see.  What the heck are you talking about?”  He then pointed to a very slight rise in elevation of the land way out to the west.  “Ok.  I guess I can see that.  But honey.  Are you telling me that you really think that is a hill?  And, might I add, there ain’t one thing beautiful about it.”

Well.  I’m definitely eating my words now.

Fast Forward again to about a month ago.

We just returned home from a week of vacation in the midst of the Rocky Mountains.

It’s beautiful.  No doubt about it.  Magnificent.

And we spent most of our time fishing and hiking

That’s Emma-babaloo (as her daddy calls her)

and I am grateful for the opportunity.

That’s me.

It was wonderful to be in the midst of that beauty.

But….there was something about it….something else….it’s been hard for me to articulate…you may not understand me at all on this, and I would understand that.

About 2 days before the end of our vacation,

I had the first stirrings of wanting to come home.  Huh?  I haven’t been here in 3-4 years.  Haven’t had a real vacation of any length in that amount of time.  Chill girl.  You have forgotten how to experience a new place; how to have a good time.  But no…. I don’t think that was it.

I was having a hard time connecting with God

Oh, He is always there – just waiting for us to call on Him, but  my impetus to connect with him was lacking for some reason.  Hmmm.  What’s up with that?  I mean, here we sit among gorgeous mountains, lakes, scenery.

But we were also hanging out in a lush, money-driven, high-falutin’ ski resort built for luxury.

Usually, if you go here, you WILL spend a lot of money.

We had an old family place to stay in and in the summer, fishing and hiking don’t cost a penny I’m happy to say.

But all around us, this lifestyle of luxuriating in wealth and riches and beautiful clothes, cars, restaurants, and jewelry was palpable and invading my senses, and after 4-5 days started to become nauseating.

By the end of the trip, I couldn’t wait to get home

I couldn’t wait to see my wide, open spaces and feel God again.  Of course, God was there, but something about this place distanced me from Him.  It reminded me of something I heard Garrison Keillor say on a radio show soon after we moved back to Oklahoma.  “People in the central part of the country don’t have time for self-help, finding themselves, etc. etc.  They are too busy swatting mosquitoes.”

Finding God Through The Stuff

After moving to Oklahoma from Los Angeles , a self-help, self-involved haven, I totally understood that comment.  For me, when there is everything a person might ever need within easy grasp, finding a need for God can become obscured by the stuff.

I’m not saying we won’t go back to Colorado.  Maybe there is more to this than I have explored.  We are blessed to have a nice place there that we can stay in for very little cost, and for a beautiful change of scenery, but…..I don’t know….time will tell.

Just one more look around?

About 1/3 of the way home, we stopped in Colorado Springs for some touring around, but I was still chomping at the bit to hit the road.   To leave this place too.  We had to spend the night somewhere.  Matthew asked if I wanted to stay overnight there or drive on a few more hours to some small town in the middle of nowhere.  PLEASE.  TAKE ME TO THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE!

As we got into the flat ground of Kansas and then Oklahoma,

it was getting close to dusk.  We passed by farm after farm and the sky was more beautiful than I’d ever seen it.  Blues, grays, pinks, purples, oranges, reds, lots of clouds.   It was perfection.  I was close to jumping out of my skin I was so thankful to be home and so amazed at the beauty.  And believe it or not, I didn’t take a picture.  Huh?  You gotta be kidding!  Well, all I can say is that I was consumed with the experience.  I’m kicking myself now.  I suppose if I considered myself a professional photographer I would have.  Guess I better start thinking that way if I’m ever going to be able to explain things to anyone.

I did find this picture of our girls about 5 or 6 year ago.

Anyway, I can’t help but think God has something special planned for this state.  Oklahoma.  With the craziness of our world, a place like this is just what most people probably need.

This was taken about 10 years ago.  I’m on the left with my parents.

Yes, Daddy.  I think you were right all along.   This IS God’s Country.  Forgive me for being such a headstrong thing.  Your wisdom continues to pervade my consciousness and will be a lasting legacy.

Listen to your Mama’s and your Daddy’s!

They know so much.  Godspeed.

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I’ve had it in my mind to tell you all this true story for as long as this website has been up and I apologize for taking so long, because I believe it is very important.  Let’s get right to it.

There is a woman named Dodie Osteen.

She is the mother of Joel Osteen who pastors Lakewood Church in Houston, Texas. Her late husband, John Osteen founded this church and the two of them pastored it for their 44 years of marriage, along with traveling and ministering in many nations of the world.

Today, She Is Healthy

She has 5 children and 19 grandchildren, but in 1981, Dodie Osteen was diagnosed with metastatic cancer of the liver.  She was told that with or without chemotherapy, she had weeks to live.  All her life she had been the picture of health.  In fact, she recounts that when someone would ask how she was, she would say “I am disgustingly healthy.”  She does not say that anymore.  Not because she is not healthy, but because she knows the power of our words and will never take her health for granted again.

With no hope…

from the medical community, her husband told the doctor that they believed in miracles and in the miracle worker (That would be Jesus) and they were going home to pray and seek God for what to do.

She is the first to say, “do not necessarily do what she did.”  You must seek God and do what brings peace to you.  Peace is the barometer for what you need to do in any situation.

After she went home…

she had many people pray for her.  Many famous pastors, known for ministries of healing prayed for her, but one night she felt she heard God speak to her heart, “Dodie, others’ faith will not heal you.  It is YOUR faith that you must go on now.”  She knew at that point, it was between she and Jesus.

So she began to live as if she were not sick.

She felt so awful, that she knew if she stayed in bed it would only get worse.  She forced herself to continue to operate as best she could.  Not taking naps.   Sleeping the normal number of hours at night.  And she prayed fervently.

A longer story short  -  she never died.

In fact, she got healthier.  Did she go back for tests to confirm her health?  No.  She knew she was healthy.  She didn’t want hospital tests messing with her faith.  Finally a few years later, she was impressed to see a doctor about another issue and they reported she was as healthy as a young woman.  Her doctors, well known in medicine, say she was healed supernaturally and that is the only explanation.

There are lots of key things she did and thought…

during her time of healing, which I encourage you to read in her $4 book, whether you are well or sick.  (Here is a link to purchase it from Amazon or you can usually find it in a Christian bookstore.)

One of those things, that I want to give you today, was 40 key verses in the Bible that she would look up everyday, read, and confess in the first person. (That means say the verse from the first person point of view – I will give you an example in a moment).

In addition,

here are a few segments from the book that will get you going in the right direction.  In the beginning she says this:

God said, My people are destroyed for lack of knowledge (Hosea 4:6).  This is a sad thing, but it’s true.  Many people do not know that it is God’s will for them to be healed.  And this information is the difference between life and death!

In another Psalm, David said, How we thank you , Lord!  Your might miracles give proof that you care (Psalm 75:1 TLB).

God does care for His children.  The fact that He healed me shows me He cares, and that He wants to heal you too.

Hebrews 11:1 says, Now faith is the substance of things HOPED for (emphasis hers).  If you have cancer, a kidney disorder, or some other terminal disease that has brought pain and sickness in your body, I want you to know there is hope in Jesus.  He does not want you to die an early death.  He wants you to live and declare the works of the Lord (see Psalm 118:17).

Later she says this:

God Did Not Give Me Cancer

Did God send this sickness on me?

No, of course not.  Both my heart and my mind knew it was not God’s will for me or any of His children to be sick.  If I had any doubt in my mind about it being God’s will for me to be well, I would never have gotten well.  That is why we need to fight the lies of the devil.  That is why we need to teach people God’s Word.  Get it clearly established in your mind and heart that it IS God’s will for you to be well.

God did not put cancer on me.  Jesus said it was “the thief,” Satan, who came to steal my health, kill me, and destroy me.  Jesus said, I am come that [you] might have life, and that [you] might have it more abundantly (John 10:10, KJV).  Notice, that verse says that you “might” have life.  You have a choice.  You do not have to have abundant life, but you CAN if you want to.  I wanted to, so I pled my case with God.

40 Healing Scriptures

And now here are the locations of the 40 verses and the general idea of each one.  This is not the verse itself.  She does give you the verse and a paragraph about each one in her book.  I have these listed and when I feel the need, (if I think I’m getting a cold, etc – and yes, sometimes I just forget to do it, but writing this to you is a great remembrance for me!) I force myself to actually look them up in the Bible, instead of reading them off of a page, and say them in first person.  That’s just me.

But she did that too and still does to this day.  She never leaves her house without looking them up and reading them even though she knows them by heart.  She says it does something for her.  So you will need to look them up or get her book if you want to know what the verse actually says.  Sorry.  I’m gonna make you work for this : )

1. Proverbs 4:20-23  The Word of God will save your life.

Here is an example:

The verse from the NIV version:

²⁰ My son, pay attention to what I say;
listen closely to my words.

²¹ Do not let them out of your sight,
keep them within your heart;

²² for they are life to those who find them
and health to a man’s whole body.

²³ Above all else, guard your heart,
for it is the wellspring of life.

Now here is my version in the first person.  Write it how it best works for YOU.

Father, I pay attention to what you say.  I listen closely to your words.  I do not let them out of my sight.  I keep them within my heart, for they are life to me and health to my whole body.  I guard my heart, for I know it is the wellspring of life.

Ok, got it.  Now you do the rest.

2.  Joshua 21:45  God’s Word will not fail.
3.  Philippians 2:13 God’s will – healing – is working in you.
4. Romans 8:11  The Spirit of Life is making your body alive.
5.  2nd Corinthians 1:20 God is for you.
6.  Matthew 8:2, 3  It is God’s will for you to be healed.
7.  Exodus 15:26  Obey God’s work and be healed.
8.  Exodus 23:25  Serve the Lord and healing will be yours.
9.  Deuteronomy 7:15  God takes all sickness away from you.
10.  Malachi 3:10  Obey all God’s commandments and seek all His blessings.
11.  Psalm 103:1-5  One of God’s benefits is healing.
12.  Psalm 107:20 God’s word is healing.
13.  Psalm 118:17 God wants you to live.
14.  Deuteronomy 30:19  Choose to live.  Be a fighter.
15.  Psalm 91:16  You will live a long life.
16.  Isaiah  53:5  Jesus bore your sin and your sicknesses.
17.  Jeremiah 30:17  God will restore your health.
18.  Matthew 18:18  You can take authority over the sickness in your body.
19.  Matthew 18:19  Agree with someone for your healing.
20.  Mark 11:23,23  What you say will make a difference.
21.  Mark 11:24  Believe and you will receive.
22.  Isaiah 43:25-26  Plead your case to God.
23.  Mark 16: 17, 18  Have someone lay hands on you for healing.
24.  John 9:31  Worship God
25.  John 10:10  The devil wants to kill you.  God wants to heal you.
26.  Galatians 3:13, 14  You are redeemed from the curse.
27.  Hebrews 10:23  You will not waiver in your faith.
28.  Hebrews 10:35  You can have confidence in God and His Word.
29.  Joel 3:10  You can find strength in God and in His Word.
30.  Hebrews 13:8  Jesus Christ has never changed.  What He did in the Bible, He will do for you today.
31.  3 John 2 God’s highest wish is for you to be well.
32.  James 5:14, 15 Be anointed with oil by a Christian.
33.  1st Peter 2:24  Jesus has already paid the price for your healing.
34.  1st John 5:14, 15  Be confident in your prayers.
35.  1st John 3:21, 22  God answers the prayers of those who keep His commandments.
36.  2nd Timothy 1:7  Fear is not of God.  Rebuke it!
37.  2nd Corinthians 10:4, 5  Cast down those thoughts and imaginations that don’t line up with the Word of God.
38.  Ephesians 6:10-13  Be strong in the Lord’s power.  Put on His armor to fight for your healing.
39.  Revelation 12:11 Give testimony of your healing.
40.  Nahum 1:9  Your sickness will leave and not come back again.

Godspeed and remember, guard the words that come out of your mouth!

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My brother, Joe, sitting next to my father a few weeks before he died.

Fear.  It’s the opposite of Love.  It is not fun.  It can “run” us unless we slay it.  Today I’m going to give you the best tool I have for dealing with fear.  But first, let’s talk about it for a moment.

Are You Afraid Very Often?

Every now and then depending on the circumstance? Is it simply human to be afraid?  Hmmm.  I suppose it is.  But I believe how often we are affected by it, is completely up to us.  It all comes down to this:  “Do we choose to operate from our spirit?  The part connected to God?”  Or “Do we choose to operate from our soul?  The flesh that we must tame moment by moment.”

We are a Spirit, we have a Soul and we live in a Body

Our spirit has the connection with God.  So when our soul (our mind, will and emotions) speaks and prays His words – In some miraculous way, we connect to the peace of God that passes all understanding.

But when we allow ourselves to be distracted and affected by the “world,” (you know, the media, the government, war, money, our future, the dark of the night, our children not within our immediate grasp, illness, death, etc) our flesh can so easily become fearful.

A day or two after my Dad’s funeral.

It’s a Continuous Task Not Allowing the ‘world’ into our Minds

I believe the only way we can be successful at eradicating the “spirit of fear” from ourselves is to commune with God, and as often as possible.

Fine.  How Do I Do That?

We need an arsenal of weapons to accomplish this task.  One of the best weapons to use, if not THE best, is the Sword of the Spirit when in battle with the “spirit of fear.”  I purposely don’t capitalize the name of fear : )

What is the Sword of the Spirit?

God’s Word.

Ok. Give Me Somethin’ Easy.

As for me, I’m wranglin’ 4 children here, homeschooling, doing the financial books for my husband’s business,  keeping up with a large, old house, getting people fed, being a good wife, and trying to do all of this with grace and ease.  And I know you have a lot on your plate too! So I say, take the right words, and…

Sing It, Baby!  Sing It!

Music changes people.  And if you combine singing with God’s Word.  Ooooowwwwweeeee!

You got a powerful combination, sister!

So take this prescription. A well-lived life succeeding at your purpose on earth depends on it!

1. Memorize It (It’s Easy Once You Get The Tune Down)

The link below is a mama’s voice.  Not a professional singer.  I’m really not sure who she is : ) She is singing Psalm 91:1-8 acapella. This tune was written by Jennifer Dunford and in this mama’s attempt to memorize it, was altered somewhat to it’s present form.

2. Sing It Over & Over

This mama sings this song alot around her house.  Sometimes in the morning when waking up her children, sometimes in the evening as her children are going to bed, or anytime fear crops it’s ugly head up.

Your Children Will Naturally Start Singing With You

This mama’s children are in various stages of memorizing it simply because they hear it alot. This mama believes once they know it, they will remember it forever and will always be able to call on it in times of need.  It is set in the first person. Praying God’s Word by personalizing it is very powerful.

She Went Out On A Limb!

This mama wanted me to tell you she went way out on a limb by having her voice recorded and it was with the sole purpose that it might help someone else to memorize.  Bless her.  Wasn’t that sweet?

Psalm 91:1-8

¹ He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High
will rest in the shadow of the Almighty.

² I will say of the LORD, “He is my refuge and my fortress,
my God, in whom I trust.”

³ Surely he will save you from the fowler’s snare
and from the deadly pestilence.

⁴ He will cover you with his feathers,
and under his wings you will find refuge;
his faithfulness will be your shield and rampart.

⁵ You will not fear the terror of night,
nor the arrow that flies by day,

⁶ nor the pestilence that stalks in the darkness,
nor the plague that destroys at midday.

⁷ A thousand may fall at your side,
ten thousand at your right hand,
but it will not come near you.

⁸ You will only observe with your eyes

A year or so later.  We miss him desperately AND life goes on.

God said He Did Not Give Us A Spirit Of Fear

Check it out.  It’s in 2 Timothy 1:7.  “For God has not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.”

So, singing this Psalm is just one way of getting God down deep inside us and inside our children.  Then we can be on our way to fulfilling the purpose for which God has sent us. 

And this Psalm, in particular, is helpful in those fearful moments.

Godspeed!

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Lorenzo and Jennifer Dunford discuss how we can approach our current world situation from a spiritual, biblical point of view. The Dunfords have 8 children and a ministry focused on family, marriage and parenting. Visit them at http://dunfordfamilyministries.com

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